When I first got diagnosed, I have to admit I didn't really know how to feel.. my feelings were pretty mixed but I guess at the time I just accepted the diagnosis and moved onto the next stage of the process: getting the correct treatment.
I did initially feel relieved as I finally had a diagnosis and in my opinion it could have been a lot worse. My random joint pain now had a name which would make it easier for me and others to understand. I could now go onto getting specific treatment in a hope that things would settle down.
I also felt slightly confused as arthritis is a typical term associated with older people. Words such as 'autoimmune' and 'rheumatologist' were being thrown around, which prior to an intense lot of googling, I was unfamiliar with. The internet, particularly the National Rheumatoid Arthritis Society (NRAS) was where I educated myself on the condition, which did scare me but also reassured me that although there is no cure for this condition there are ways to manage it. Not only was I confused, but I am sure family members and friends were too, who like me would mostly associate arthritis with older people. I think people's confusion and questioning was what led me to only really tell people when I felt absolutely necessary. It isn't like I am ashamed of it but most of the time I just don't feel the need to bring it up. It is also hard to explain something you don't fully understand yourself. Also now thinking back, I probably didn't tell people as I didn't want to be viewed as different but more importantly I didn't want to label myself different in a way that may make me unable to carry out things I want to do. I guess you could say that at aged 17-21 you have the world at your feet, end of one chapter and the start of another, so anything that could potentially stop that was subconsciously blocked out.
Now writing this 3 years on from a diagnosis, I see and have had experiences that have made me realise the importance of thinking of the future, particularly in terms of my career... and these thoughts don't have to be negative or even decisive but just thinking of management strategies to put in place rather than avoiding the subject is a much better approach.
So, when first diagnosed I didn't feel sad or angry or even particularly worried about the future, Being a person with a positive outlook made me just take it in my stride and think about getting the right treatment, which I'm not entirely sure is a good thing but I now see the whole process, the good and the bad as a learning curve. I think it is perfectly normal not to know how to feel about something like this and there will be a stage where you start to be more proactive, even if it is just in thoughts.
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