Sri Lanka

Just as I thought 2017 couldn't get any better, a month spent in Sri Lanka has been the icing on the cake. On the 5th August I set off for Sri Lanka, completely on my own and clueless about the adventures and experiences I was about to embark on. Throughout the plane journey and the first few days I was there the phrase "what am I doing?!" kept going round in my head but as I adapted to the cultural changes and became friends with the most welcoming group of people I started to realise this was going to be a trip of a lifetime.

My reason for going was to undertake a voluntary physiotherapy placement at Kandy General hospital. From the moment I set foot into the physiotherapy department on my first day, it was obvious to me that there was going to be many differences between practicing in the UK and in Sri Lanka. The therapists had to treat a large volume of patients in a small space of time, with limited facilities and equipment. After witnessing healthcare in another culture, it has made me realise (even more) how lucky we are to have the NHS, a system where healthcare professionals work so efficiently as a team to ensure a patient-centred approach is adopted. This experience has taught me a lot and I feel it will shape me to be a physiotherapist with a more holistic approach, enabling me to think on my feet and be more adaptable to unpredictable circumstances.

As well as doing a placement, I also got to travel round to some of the most beautiful places I've ever seen and embrace a completely new culture. I feel lucky to have seen the Buddhist and Hindu temples, climb Sigiriya rock, ride an elephant, go to Trincomalee to relax at the beach, walk to the world's end view point and ride the most beautiful train journey from Ella to Kandy. On top of all that I have made friends for life. Never did I expect to become to close to a group of people but I couldn't have wished for a better group of people to spend the last month with.

On a side note to all that, spending a month in the sun has done wonders for my RA. While I was there I experienced minimal flare ups, making it one of the longest periods I have felt well for. This just goes to show that I am destined to travel and spend most of my days in the sun surrounded by wonderful people.

I honestly couldn't think of a better way to have spent the money my wonderful late Godmother left me. She was a constant inspiration in my life and always believed in me to become a physiotherapist and now I hope to have made her proud.

Now the job hunt and adult life begins!!

Reflecting

So my time at university has absolutely flown by as everyone said it would and I can't quite believe that after one more placement I will be heading out to work as a qualified physiotherapist. I have met some of the best people and have made unforgettable memories.

But as it is all coming to an end I can't help thinking of  how this journey definitely hasn't been plain-sailing. As well as learning how to be a physiotherapist, which is challenging enough at times, I had the mammoth task of learning how to deal with my RA whilst on placement and was forced to think about the implications it may have on my career. 

This time last year I was so ready to quit the course and completely rethink my career choice. I had just failed placement and couldn't see how I would ever be successful on this path. With support from family, friends and tutors at university, all of which I can't thank enough, I got my shit together and completely changed my attitude towards having this condition. Ignoring it and pretending everything is dandy is how I thought I was coping and I have now come to realise that is no way to deal with anything. 

I don't mean for this blog post to be a complete pity party as there is so many positive things to come out of my uni experience. I have come a long way since this time last year; I am well on board with practicing self-care and putting my self first and after having positive experiences and surrounding myself with great people I finally have belief in myself. Although I still need to work on it, I have grown to appreciate the value of  talking to someone about how I'm feeling. It isn't the easiest thing to do but you'll be surprised at the amount of people actually willing to listen to my random thoughts and rants. Blogging is great too, not just for venting but it has connected me with people in similar positions.

So I will just end this post by saying thanks to the wonderful people I've met at uni.

Peace out University of Brighton xxx

accepting the diagnosis of a chronic condition

Receiving the diagnosis of a chronic condition might seem like life is giving you a whole load of bitter, horrible lemons. What you then decide to do with those lemons is a very individual process. For me having anger and being upset seemed pointless as it wasn't going to change anything but I am sure there are people who have felt completely different. Grabbing tequila and salt did seem like a very good idea at the time I was diagnosed; not even because I was bitter or sad but as I have explained in previous posts I didn't actually know how to feel.

Having this diagnosis didn't mean a whole lot to me at the time, I was aware that it wasn't going away but was unaware of the extent to which it would affect me day to day. So I just got on with it, took my medication and carried on as normal most days. But as I went through placements and was beginning to see the potential impacts on my career due to my RA I thought maybe this isn't the best way to deal with it. Hardly talking about it with family and friends meant that it was difficult to talk to colleagues about it. This made me question: Have I actually accepted my diagnosis or am I just pretending it is nothing to worry about?

I did some reading on what it means to accept a diagnosis and came across many conflicting ideas; a few of which I could really relate to. I saw someone saying that they don't label themselves as disabled, hardly talk about it and use phrases like "I am a fighter". They then went to a counselor who said these are behaviours which reflect the attitude that they are in denial about their condition.

However, for me to be a fighter doesn't mean pretending the problem doesn't exist. Since experiencing problems related to my RA on placement, I have reflected and come up with ways to overcome barriers and manage the condition whilst not surrendering and letting it stop me pursuing the career I want. To me this is being a "fighter" ;admitting there is a problem and that there will be bad days but also learning to embrace the good days, focus on what I can do rather than what I can't do because for me a positive mindset is how I cope. 

It might take months or years to accept it and it isn't going to be something that just happens overnight. When thinking back I definitely didn't accept it at first but each problem faced is a learning curve that has shaped my attitude. I have cried and felt frustrated about it and that's okay. Bad days are inevitable and going back to the metaphor of life giving you lemons, some days you may choose to grab tequila and salt, throw the lemons or squirt them in someone's eyes but other days the lemons just remain in the kitchen cupboard, not having an impact on your life. Personally, knowing how to cope with the bad days, knowing when to stop and take it easy is being accepting of my diagnosis.

So I did it...

I successfully completed 1 month without alcohol yesterday and I honestly couldn't be prouder of myself.
As much as I enjoyed having a drink and toasting my amazing mum yesterday for mother's day, I also feel like I benefitted and learnt a lot from keeping away from alcohol for a bit.
The perks included:
- no hangovers
- saving money
- remembering evenings out with friends
- realising I can have fun without it at the      pub
- finding other ways to stress relief
- not having the whole "I made a fool out of myself" anxiety.
However, a few things did annoy me about it such as people telling me I wouldn't be able to do it, being asked if I'm sure I don't just want one drink and constant questions about why I'm doing it when I just want to peacefully drink my j2o.
Despite the challenges and temptations to have a drink, I feel good that I have done this sober month and would definitely recommend it as an opportunity to reflect and realise what you need to focus on.
Thanks to those who supported me, means the world... Here's a picture of me, back in my familiar territory

Happy Spring!

So, it's the start of my favourite season; a new month and the start of Spring. 

This month I have decided to give up alcohol, not for any particular reason but as more of a challenge to myself. For anyone who knows me well will know that I love a drink and would rarely turn down the opportunity to have a drink with my friends/family. Call me boring, doubt me, say what you like but I am taking on this challenge. 

The last few times I have gotten drunk, I have spent the next day trying to piece together the night and almost undoubtedly remember something stupid I did or said that night (nothing major to regret just silly things) and am left feeling like a tit with a horrible hangover. Don't get me wrong, I am not giving up alcohol forever and I am not going to judge those that are out getting drunk, but I feel that while I am poor, on placement and have better things to focus on, I don't feel it all that necessary to be going out and getting smashed on a weekend. 

Half way through this month I will probably be super stressed out and in need of a bottle of wine and a funny drunken night with my friends but I love to prove people wrong and aim to do so by giving up alcohol for the month. I dread to think how much of a lightweight I will be when I next have a drink, but look forward to feeling fresh every weekend and not having to go through the awful bank balance check the morning after a night out. 

So wish me luck or place bets on how long I will last, I don't mind. I will keep you posted.

Highs and lows of January

Again I'm writing a more general post rather than one specifically about my RA so welcome to my interesting life outside that part of me.

January is always seen as a depressing month of being broke, not much to look forward to and horrible cold weather. However, despite these negatives I feel I've had a good and relatively stress-free month so I thought I would share my highs and lows of January.


Highs:
- Being on placement alongside one of the most friendly and supportive team of physios I have ever worked with.
- I have developed my confidence as a physio and a person. I feel a lot more positive about the year to come and have a lot more self-belief.
- I feel I have invested time in good friends and company this month.
- I have distanced myself from one-sided friendships
- I started the year with some of my favourite people.
- I am also (temporarily) out of my overdraft so money hasn't been one of my biggest worries for once


Lows:
-The weather.. typically British to be complaining about the weather but I really do hate the cold
- Donald Trump.. need I say more
- Christmas being over
- My breathing being crap
- And realising that nothing hugely exciting is happening in the next few months and I will be focusing on my dissertation.

16 things I've learnt in 2016

1) I literally have the best and most supportive family and friends I could ever wish for.

2) Don't let anyone tell you what to do, try and change you or make you feel uncomfortable about yourself.

3) You have to believe in yourself before anyone else believes in you

4) Confidence takes a long time to come back after being knocked

5) Failure sucks

6) Never underestimate the ability of food to cheer you up

7) Having brunch out is one of my favourite things to do

8) Charity shops are amazing for buying clothes

9) If people don't make you feel good about yourself remove them from your life

10) I'm most content when abroad in a hot country drinking a mojito with good company

11) I make a pretty decent caramel latte.. who needs starbucks?

12) I nap a hell of a lot

13) My time management is awful

14) Always say how you feel 

15) To-do lists have the ability to make me think I have my life in order

16) I thrive from positive people/experiences and don't have time for those who bring others down constantly

Peace out 2016 and happy new year everyone xoxo